hey guess what? i'm already on break-mentality.

i really need to aggregate everything about me in one place. no, take that back, i need the internets softwares to do that for me.
1. been messing around with Reason. i finally figured out how to use it, thanks to learning MAX/MSP in class. it's all the DSP crap that finally made me understand what the hell effects and crap are all about.
2. why am i still on livejournal? why are we still on livejournal? methinks it be high time i moved on.
3. http://www.last.fm/music/Johnny+Hwang/Demo+2009
4. i've forgotten all my html. what a broken language.
5. meebo anyone?
6. i can't disable this stupid mousepad tap thing. really annoying.
7. i got a new netbook!! problem is it's running an outdated, unupdatable version of XP Chinese. what OS should i load it with? (no CD drive, so i gotta sacrifice one of my flash drive's contents. thank goodness i got plenty of those).
8. listen + download + comment on me music. plz.

nooooo facebook you totally fucked up!! not all corners are rounded, wtf?!? tab buttons aren't rounded. advertisement pictures aren't rounded. album photos aren't rounded. why the inconsistency? i hate facebook now!!

i really like the rounded corners in the new facebook. they're very friendly =]]

damn. i feel kinda sorry for california state senator maldonado now. he did the right thing in signing a budget that actually sorta kinda works, but is probably going to cost him his seat =(. srsly, california's legislature is so fucking broken that i'm amazed that we actually have moderates serving in office. both democrats and republicans are so extreme in their positions that nothing ever gets done, and if you compromise, your reps won't vote for you. how retarded is that?

hey. it's been a really long day of running around campus. now my head hurts and my nose is sniffling. i don't feel so well.
lawl what do i kid myself. i never update this piece of shit anymore meh. i ought.
ever feel like sometimes you just don't want to do anything at all? yeah i feel like that right now. just wasting time. wasting life. wasting myself. meh.

eek bouncing up and down on a whale-watching boat chasing killer whales is not fun. so many people were puking on the trip (not me). damn.
but they sure do look awesome in the wild.

there's nothing more nasty than stepping into a shower and stepping on a menstruation pad my sister left behind... hella nasty jesus..

well, good news is my hair doesn't get in my eyes now.
bad news is i have a bad haircut ZXD

wiring things together in Logisim is fun.
building a mock CPU where the project specs change daily is not fun.

johnny thinks debra's writing is incredibly cheesy.
it's so sad to read...
i feel sorry for her.
lol.

at least the ones at berkeley. god there cannot be a less creative breed of people on earth. omg. tonic always on the first chord, last chord, and penultimate is always five in root position. Seriously. Who the fuck else thinks in block chords? they never do anything daring, or even try something new, a new nonharmonic color note, nothing like that. it's always the same old diatonic shit, the same old I IV V I.

they annoy me most during homework analysis. so the other day, it was my chorale harmony being analyzed, and people just can't get over the fact that i use unorthodox progressions, really altered chords, and focus more on making the tenor and alto sound interesting. do people ever play music that they write anymore? Or do they simply follow what Bach does, which is pretty much the same boring shit over and over? there's only so many different ways to harmonize a melody in the Bach style, and yes, Bach has done them all 23 different ways. there's a reason he marked the end of the Baroque era: by the time he was done, that style is so fucking stale.

And yet music majors in my class continue to do the same old boring shit. nothing new. nothing daring. it all sounds the same. hell, i bet they all did their harmonizations together. how else can they all have the same chord progressions, same bass line, same fucking notes for the altos and tenors (one note samba, to quote Mrs. Glover).

god. they're a reason they're mediocre. at least my stuff sounds good to the ear and sounds different at the same time.

Let 400 miles be the distance that keeps the world at bay
400 miles the hurdle no one dares trespass
Let 400 miles be not the distance we share
Not the reason I look southward for you
Nor the line I trace through a map
Nor the sadness devouring my sanity
Walking where we once walked in bliss

I measure time like this

14 days for you to taste my tears in the salt spray from the sea
2 hours for you to hear my name when I yearn for you at night
A near instant to see the wanting on my face
But with you from the start belongs my love

Let the roaring train not wake you from your sleep
So I may watch you, watch over you, as you dream
Let the roaring train pass by, not wake me
Not tear through my nebulous thinking
Nor remind me its northward journey
Nor lay on my left to stare only at the clock
Raving where we once raved in bliss

I measure time like this

The days since I picked up the last of your hair
The fading scent of the gum you've left behind
52 seconds, the length of my recorded voicemail, my all-or-nothing
An instant, for your words to melt my heart

Our measurements of time

eeeek, let me be not sloppy.
here comes a second draft.

let this be the end of bullshit.
fuckkk i hate my parents.
my family.
fucking holding me down.
their money is poison.
their money bought my independence.

let me count down the days, just count down the fucking days, until i move through this hellhole. let me never look back, never yearn to return to this kind of life.
i really should stop thinking that other people are luckier than i.
just two more years. two more fucking years. i don't care how uncertain a future i face anymore. there will always be one constant in my life, and that will be the basis for the start of my new life.
god. i only wish it were tomorrow.